Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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