I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
