Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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