Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also, beer. Big fan.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
