i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
