I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
