Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
