Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
