i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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