What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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