She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
