remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
