To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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