I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And then the night went full on bisexual.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
