It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
