somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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