My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
