Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
