I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
