i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
