I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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