so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
