it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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