Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
