I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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