In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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