but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
