Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
