Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
do herpes really smell.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
