the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
