No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
