I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
