I want to make a zoo with you.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
