Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
