my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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