# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
