I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
