haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think I sprained my soul last night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
