Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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