Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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