This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
