How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
