I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
