So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
