She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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