yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
