why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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