I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
