dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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