You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
