I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Panties = found
Randomize
