I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
