what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I need water and some morals
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
